Thursday, August 2, 2012

Nathaniel and Demetri

Cryptic n. and adj. /ˈkrɪptɪk/
A. noun.  1. Communication of knowledge by secret methods. 2. Something enigmatic or hidden; a secret, a mystery. Now chiefly: an enigmatic remark, piece of writing, etc. 
B. adjective.  1. Not immediately understandable; mysterious, enigmatic. 2. Secret, concealed; occult, mystical. Also: cryptographic.
C. person. 1. Nathaniel, that boy from school who seems to be followed by a cloud of gloom and doom. He’s always off in some dark corner, looking like he hates the world. I mean does that kid know how to smile? I doubt it. What’s worse is that every girl in school is simply swooning over him. I’ve never understood the appeal of a ‘bad boy’. There are plenty of nice guys around that won’t give you a cold shoulder when you wave them hello in the hallway and glare at you menacingly from across the cafeteria, I would know, I’m one of them. But no, all the girls just have to have Nathaniel! Nathaniel, Nathaniel, Nathaniel!  That’s all I ever hear. I wish I could get some recognition for once. 2.  Once again a girl has been turn down by our school’s very own Heathcliff. I believe she’s the sixth one this week, and it’s only Tuesday. I really don’t understand this guy. Seriously, he’s an enigma wrapped in myth wrapped in a mystery. If even one of the girls that has declared her love to him just glanced at me once, I would be ecstatic, but he couldn’t care less. You know something… he’s just lucky. The only reason anyone gives him a second glance is because of his good looks. Even I have to admit he’s handsome. His hair is red gold and fiery like the sun and his blue eyes shine like icy stars. His skin is pale and smooth, sprinkled lightly with light freckles. Nathaniel could easily pass for a Disney prince any day…
  
Discovery n.  /dɪˈskʌvərɪ/
A.noun. 1.The action of uncovering or fact of becoming uncovered; opening (of a bud, etc.) 2. The action of disclosing or divulging (anything secret or unknown); revelation, disclosure. 3. The action of displaying or manifesting (any quality); manifestation. 4. The unraveling or unfolding of the plot of a play, poem, etc. 5. The finding out or bringing to light of that which was previously unknown; making known.
B. event. 1. He’s been watching me. I’m sure of it. While I’m at my locker, walking down the hall, in class, at the cafeteria, I have this constant feeling that I’m being watched and when I look behind me he’s always there… glancing away. I’m going to keep my eye on him. This can’t just be me being weirdly paranoid. 2. He’s not even looking away anymore. Whenever I feel his eyes on me I look back, but now instead of peevishly glancing away as he did before, Nathaniel just stares intently. His gaze is intimidating. When I see his crystal blue eyes trained on me I get chills down my back, it’s surreal. I’m going to have to confront him before this goes too far. 3. Today I ran into Nathaniel in the hallway. I tripped and dropped my books and fulfilling his Disney prince role, he stopped to help me. It was like something out of a cheesy romance movie, simply nauseating. I did my best to avoid any contact with his hand, there was no way I was having a cliché moment with this kid. However, I could not have ever guessed what happened once we finished gathering everything up. When Nathaniel handed my last book he gazed at me once more with those piercing eyes of his, but this time instead of looking away I stared right back at him. At this, a deep pink blush appeared on his face and for a second… just a second I think he smiled. I was taken back. I had never seen him show even hint of emotion. All I can think about now is that is smile was beautiful.
  
Enlightenment, n. /ɛnˈlaɪtnm(ə)nt/
A. noun. 1. The action of bringing someone to a state of greater knowledge, understanding, or insight; the state of being enlightened in this way. Also: an instance of this. Rare before the 19th century. 2. The action or process of freeing human understanding from the accepted and customary beliefs sanctioned by traditional, esp. religious, authority, chiefly by rational and scientific inquiry into all aspects of human life, which became a characteristic goal of philosophical writing in the late 17th and 18th centuries. 3. Buddhism. The state of spiritual insight or awareness which frees a person from the cycle of suffering and rebirth; nirvana.
B. choice. 1. It’s been a week since that blush and that smile and now Nathaniel does not only plague my days with his gaze but also my nights. He is in my thoughts and in my dreams. What’s happened to me? Have I become like those mindless girls that fawn over him? No. I won’t let this happen, not over a simple smile. I’ve had crushes on boys before, but they were never this bad. Never to the point in which I’m secretly looking for him behind every corner, day dreaming about his hand brushing against mine, hoping to hear him call my name, “Demetri, Demetri”, and waiting to see his smile once more. I need to get him out of my mind. 2. Nathaniel’s been getting braver. He’s moved on from glances from across the room. Every once in a while he lingers by my desk in English class, and several times we’ve brushed shoulders while passing in the hallway. It’s like he’s realized I might actually be attracted to him and now he’s teasing me. This has turned into a game of cat and mouse but I’m not sure who the cat is and who’s the mouse. 3. I have come to terms with myself. I don’t know if I love Nathaniel but I do know that I lust for him and I do know that I want to love him. I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about this and I decided to make my move. I want him to smile for me and only for me. I’m going to open up to him. I can only hope that I’ll have more luck than all the girls that have come before me.

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This is from an assignment I had for my Experimental Writing Class last semester. We had to take three dictionary entries and borrow the form and create a narrative. I just remembered I hadn't posted when I posted the poem right before this. The poem is about seeing beyond how people are defined by themselves and others and I thought this plays on that as well. 

Definitions


Call me a liar
but believe my words.
Call me a dreamer
but trust in my visions.

Do not let your labels
define who I am.
For I have risen beyond them.
They are no longer truths.

Call me a sinner
but love my virtues.
Call me a traitor
but cherish my loyalty.

Your tags have fallen off
they no longer stick to my skin.
So leave behind your definitions,
and see me for who I am.



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