Monday, February 13, 2012

Chronicles of Flumdiddle

So I'm taking a really fun experimental writing class, and the first day my teacher had us pick out 3 postcards and write something based off them.

What I got:
a poetry magazine ad with the name Hix and a banana on it
a postcard for an album called "East of Flumdiddle"
a postcard with a panther and panther facts

What I did with it:

Hix from East of Flumdiddle
was a Panther who loved to solve riddles.
He was smarter than any bard,
so no problem was too hard
for that clever panther of Flumdiddle.

But then there came a day
when one fruit's question left him with nothing to say
"What is smaller than a blade of grass,
but with ultimate power and class?"
Hix didn't even have a hunch
so he ate the banana for lunch.

This was fun to write. I enjoy random out-of-the-box writings. It started off as just a semi-almost-a-limerick and then just ended up as a silly poem.

Then for homework we had to take whatever we wrote and change it into a different form of writing. I did a poem, so I turned into a piece of fiction:

Date: 13th of Flum
Location: Private Office

        The name is Hix. Hix Panthorus. I'm a P.I.-- Panther Investigator, and I work in the Riddle Division. Ya know, solvin' riddles and whatnot. You've got a word problem? A question with no clear answer? I'm the on you come to.

        Ya see, I'm the smartest cat in town. My mind's a sharp as my claws. There ain't no problem I can't solve. Remember that Humpty Egg fella? I put him back together.

        Eeeeyup. I', the cleverest feline in this here kingdom of Flumdiddle and always will be. Wanna know why? Because I ain't just got book smarts, I got them street smarts too.

        Let me give you an example.

        One day, I was mindin' my own business here in the office, when this fruit came in. A real beauty of a dame as far as that part of the food pyramid is concerned. She was a banana. Smooth yellow skin, with a long slender body. Looked delicious.

        Now, this banana, she came to me with a seemingly simple question.

        "What is smaller than a blade of grass, but with ultimate power and class?" she asked.

        I'm going to be honest with you. At first I thought I had the answer in the bag, but then the more I thought about it the less sure i got. I had no idea what this gal wanted me to say. I mean what kinda question is that? "Smaller than a blade of grass..."

        So then I had a dilemma of my own. I couldn't let some floozy of a fruit go around and ruin my rep when I couldn't answer her question!

        So you know what I did?

        I ate her.

        She was tasty as she looked, and rich in potassium too.

I seriously hope you read that in a ridiculously stereotypical 1920s Private Eye/ Detective voice. If you didn't, go back and read it again... out loud this time.

I really like writing this as a detective story, I think I might write some more like these later.