Thursday, August 2, 2012

Nathaniel and Demetri

Cryptic n. and adj. /ˈkrɪptɪk/
A. noun.  1. Communication of knowledge by secret methods. 2. Something enigmatic or hidden; a secret, a mystery. Now chiefly: an enigmatic remark, piece of writing, etc. 
B. adjective.  1. Not immediately understandable; mysterious, enigmatic. 2. Secret, concealed; occult, mystical. Also: cryptographic.
C. person. 1. Nathaniel, that boy from school who seems to be followed by a cloud of gloom and doom. He’s always off in some dark corner, looking like he hates the world. I mean does that kid know how to smile? I doubt it. What’s worse is that every girl in school is simply swooning over him. I’ve never understood the appeal of a ‘bad boy’. There are plenty of nice guys around that won’t give you a cold shoulder when you wave them hello in the hallway and glare at you menacingly from across the cafeteria, I would know, I’m one of them. But no, all the girls just have to have Nathaniel! Nathaniel, Nathaniel, Nathaniel!  That’s all I ever hear. I wish I could get some recognition for once. 2.  Once again a girl has been turn down by our school’s very own Heathcliff. I believe she’s the sixth one this week, and it’s only Tuesday. I really don’t understand this guy. Seriously, he’s an enigma wrapped in myth wrapped in a mystery. If even one of the girls that has declared her love to him just glanced at me once, I would be ecstatic, but he couldn’t care less. You know something… he’s just lucky. The only reason anyone gives him a second glance is because of his good looks. Even I have to admit he’s handsome. His hair is red gold and fiery like the sun and his blue eyes shine like icy stars. His skin is pale and smooth, sprinkled lightly with light freckles. Nathaniel could easily pass for a Disney prince any day…
Discovery n.  /dɪˈskʌvərɪ/
A.noun. 1.The action of uncovering or fact of becoming uncovered; opening (of a bud, etc.) 2. The action of disclosing or divulging (anything secret or unknown); revelation, disclosure. 3. The action of displaying or manifesting (any quality); manifestation. 4. The unraveling or unfolding of the plot of a play, poem, etc. 5. The finding out or bringing to light of that which was previously unknown; making known.
B. event. 1. He’s been watching me. I’m sure of it. While I’m at my locker, walking down the hall, in class, at the cafeteria, I have this constant feeling that I’m being watched and when I look behind me he’s always there… glancing away. I’m going to keep my eye on him. This can’t just be me being weirdly paranoid. 2. He’s not even looking away anymore. Whenever I feel his eyes on me I look back, but now instead of peevishly glancing away as he did before, Nathaniel just stares intently. His gaze is intimidating. When I see his crystal blue eyes trained on me I get chills down my back, it’s surreal. I’m going to have to confront him before this goes too far. 3. Today I ran into Nathaniel in the hallway. I tripped and dropped my books and fulfilling his Disney prince role, he stopped to help me. It was like something out of a cheesy romance movie, simply nauseating. I did my best to avoid any contact with his hand, there was no way I was having a cliché moment with this kid. However, I could not have ever guessed what happened once we finished gathering everything up. When Nathaniel handed my last book he gazed at me once more with those piercing eyes of his, but this time instead of looking away I stared right back at him. At this, a deep pink blush appeared on his face and for a second… just a second I think he smiled. I was taken back. I had never seen him show even hint of emotion. All I can think about now is that is smile was beautiful.
Enlightenment, n. /ɛnˈlaɪtnm(ə)nt/
A. noun. 1. The action of bringing someone to a state of greater knowledge, understanding, or insight; the state of being enlightened in this way. Also: an instance of this. Rare before the 19th century. 2. The action or process of freeing human understanding from the accepted and customary beliefs sanctioned by traditional, esp. religious, authority, chiefly by rational and scientific inquiry into all aspects of human life, which became a characteristic goal of philosophical writing in the late 17th and 18th centuries. 3. Buddhism. The state of spiritual insight or awareness which frees a person from the cycle of suffering and rebirth; nirvana.
B. choice. 1. It’s been a week since that blush and that smile and now Nathaniel does not only plague my days with his gaze but also my nights. He is in my thoughts and in my dreams. What’s happened to me? Have I become like those mindless girls that fawn over him? No. I won’t let this happen, not over a simple smile. I’ve had crushes on boys before, but they were never this bad. Never to the point in which I’m secretly looking for him behind every corner, day dreaming about his hand brushing against mine, hoping to hear him call my name, “Demetri, Demetri”, and waiting to see his smile once more. I need to get him out of my mind. 2. Nathaniel’s been getting braver. He’s moved on from glances from across the room. Every once in a while he lingers by my desk in English class, and several times we’ve brushed shoulders while passing in the hallway. It’s like he’s realized I might actually be attracted to him and now he’s teasing me. This has turned into a game of cat and mouse but I’m not sure who the cat is and who’s the mouse. 3. I have come to terms with myself. I don’t know if I love Nathaniel but I do know that I lust for him and I do know that I want to love him. I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about this and I decided to make my move. I want him to smile for me and only for me. I’m going to open up to him. I can only hope that I’ll have more luck than all the girls that have come before me.


This is from an assignment I had for my Experimental Writing Class last semester. We had to take three dictionary entries and borrow the form and create a narrative. I just remembered I hadn't posted when I posted the poem right before this. The poem is about seeing beyond how people are defined by themselves and others and I thought this plays on that as well. 


Call me a liar
but believe my words.
Call me a dreamer
but trust in my visions.

Do not let your labels
define who I am.
For I have risen beyond them.
They are no longer truths.

Call me a sinner
but love my virtues.
Call me a traitor
but cherish my loyalty.

Your tags have fallen off
they no longer stick to my skin.
So leave behind your definitions,
and see me for who I am.

Tuesday, July 24, 2012


Forgotten memories tucked away
in a tattered envelope,
I sift through your thoughts
written on a journal page.
These were once your dreams,
why did you abandon them?
Why did you leave them, and I, behind?

Now, you are off chasing after
a goal someone else put in your mind.
You let them take you,
and all that you were.
All that’s left are these broken whispers
that echo when I sleep.

Still, I am waiting for your return,
lost in a sea of missed opportunities.
Would you blame me if doubt settles in?
I can’t help but wonder,
have you already tucked me away
in some yellowing folder
and hidden it from your sight?

Surely, I am already a forgotten memory,
just waiting to be sift through
by another abandoned heart.

My Heart

I have come to believe
that when you leave my side
my heart goes with you,
for it does not beat the same
when we are apart.

By your side,
there are moments when
my heart, it beats,
quickly, so quickly, you can feel it
fluttering against my chest.
And there are moments when
my heart, it beats
slowly, so slowly, you can feel it
still, skipping every thump.

But, when you are not near,
my heart is steady, monotonous,
as if it has been transformed
into a ticking clock
which merely counts the hours
that are left until you are
once more by my side. 


Who are you to say everything is going to be okay?
Who are you to go around spreading false hopes?
You don’t know anything about us,
You don’t know anything about our hopes.
So back off, get off my case,
Because I don’t need you anyways.

You, I

You took my heart away,
and cast me to the side
leaving me alone to die.

You’ve got your dreams ahead,
and have left nothing behind
but a broken promise.

I don’t know what to do
with these haunting memories
of the future we had planned out.

I can’t help but think
maybe there was something
that I should have said.

Friday, July 13, 2012

For the boy who once wished to be an Astronaut

If every star in the sky was a thought of mine,
then the night would be lit by your smile.
And if I could fly and catch a star,
to keep by my side, underneath my pillow,
then my nights would never be dark
and my dreams would always be light.

I once dreamt of a flower, white and small.
It would grow only when watered by my tears,
it would bloom only when warmed by my laugh.
My dream flower grew and grew, but it would not bloom.
Not until the day the star fell from the sky
and pierced me in the heart.

I wish, I wish I truly could fill the stars with my thoughts
and light the night with your smile.
Because then I could fulfill your dreams,
as you fulfilled my own,
and help you reach the moon
and galaxies far beyond.

For Alexander

Give and Take

What more can I give to you
           when I have given you all my heart?
What more can I give to you
           when I have given you all my life?

I have nothing left but these words
that I've pulled painfully from my thoughts
and placed shamefully on this paper.
These letters, words, sounds, sentences, truths, truths,
these are all I have left to give to you.

So take them.
Take them all.
Keep them close to where you keep my heart.
Keep them close to where you keep my life.

Take them
           and with them
                      all that I have left to give.


The dreamcatcher on my wall,
I am sure that it knows all.
All my dreams, all my nightmares.
All my lied truths and failed dares.

It knows the nights when there are no dreams to catch,
only desperate thoughts onto which I latch.
It knows the nights when each twist and turn,
is a dream of you making my heart burn.

The dreamcatcher on my wall,
it has seen the pride before the fall.
And the tears of the newly humbled,
and the swears of times I've fumbled.

It knows the smiles of cherished times
when all the words fit with perfect rhymes.
It knows the pouts of poems unfinished
when all the verses have come out blemished.

The dreamcatcher it knows all.
The dreamcatcher on my wall.
The dreamcatcher on my wall.

Sins and Regrets

Is it alright to regret
more the things I have not done
than all the things I have?

My mistakes I've learned to accept
but not my yet unreached triumphs.
So much time I have wasted
dreaming of what I could be doing.

But must I mourn my fall to Sloth,
in hopes I will find my muse
when productivity becomes my virtue?

Or perhaps I must simply take hold
of all these sins and regrets,
and change them, morph them
into something new.

Friday, June 22, 2012

Cheechu and Xana

These are two animal creations I made for a story I'm writing.
Cheechu is a wrenombat, combo of a wren and a wombat. Xana is a foxra, combo of a fox and a rabbit.

Cheechu is actually a result of a randomg animal generator I found via the internet: 

Pokemon Battle

Yra battles her rival... STEVE!

Okay I think this is it for the day xD I've drawn enough pokemon for now.

Thursday, June 21, 2012

> w >

Yra training with Zolt and feeding Peeko. 

More Pokemon because I felt like it.

Here is Yra the pokemon trainer and the rest of her awesome poketeam!

Dua the duduo, Mera the dragonair, Zolt the ampharos, Kuro the houndoom, Peeko the whimsicott, and Lyrraile the vaporeon.

Sacre Bleu!!

So, I've been reading a book by Christopher Moore. Maya and Ze gave it to me after I finished my first year of college. It's called Sacre Bleu, and just like all of Moore's other books, it's fantastic! I've been doing my best to make it last but I'm going to be done soon :c!

Anyways, this is a drawing of two main characters. Bleu and Lucien Lessard.


Oh my! What's this? A POST!!!

Oh goodness, I haven't posted anything in a while. I WILL CHANGE THIS! I have a nice stockpile of things to put up, so no worries! :D

For now, here's a drawing I just made! 
It's a pokemon trainer! Her name is Yra and her duduo is named Dua. Yra is a lively energetic girl and Dua is a duduo with a split personality. Together they hope to become a great pokemon team! :D Wish them luck!

Monday, February 13, 2012

Chronicles of Flumdiddle

So I'm taking a really fun experimental writing class, and the first day my teacher had us pick out 3 postcards and write something based off them.

What I got:
a poetry magazine ad with the name Hix and a banana on it
a postcard for an album called "East of Flumdiddle"
a postcard with a panther and panther facts

What I did with it:

Hix from East of Flumdiddle
was a Panther who loved to solve riddles.
He was smarter than any bard,
so no problem was too hard
for that clever panther of Flumdiddle.

But then there came a day
when one fruit's question left him with nothing to say
"What is smaller than a blade of grass,
but with ultimate power and class?"
Hix didn't even have a hunch
so he ate the banana for lunch.

This was fun to write. I enjoy random out-of-the-box writings. It started off as just a semi-almost-a-limerick and then just ended up as a silly poem.

Then for homework we had to take whatever we wrote and change it into a different form of writing. I did a poem, so I turned into a piece of fiction:

Date: 13th of Flum
Location: Private Office

        The name is Hix. Hix Panthorus. I'm a P.I.-- Panther Investigator, and I work in the Riddle Division. Ya know, solvin' riddles and whatnot. You've got a word problem? A question with no clear answer? I'm the on you come to.

        Ya see, I'm the smartest cat in town. My mind's a sharp as my claws. There ain't no problem I can't solve. Remember that Humpty Egg fella? I put him back together.

        Eeeeyup. I', the cleverest feline in this here kingdom of Flumdiddle and always will be. Wanna know why? Because I ain't just got book smarts, I got them street smarts too.

        Let me give you an example.

        One day, I was mindin' my own business here in the office, when this fruit came in. A real beauty of a dame as far as that part of the food pyramid is concerned. She was a banana. Smooth yellow skin, with a long slender body. Looked delicious.

        Now, this banana, she came to me with a seemingly simple question.

        "What is smaller than a blade of grass, but with ultimate power and class?" she asked.

        I'm going to be honest with you. At first I thought I had the answer in the bag, but then the more I thought about it the less sure i got. I had no idea what this gal wanted me to say. I mean what kinda question is that? "Smaller than a blade of grass..."

        So then I had a dilemma of my own. I couldn't let some floozy of a fruit go around and ruin my rep when I couldn't answer her question!

        So you know what I did?

        I ate her.

        She was tasty as she looked, and rich in potassium too.

I seriously hope you read that in a ridiculously stereotypical 1920s Private Eye/ Detective voice. If you didn't, go back and read it again... out loud this time.

I really like writing this as a detective story, I think I might write some more like these later.

Wednesday, January 11, 2012


Here's some drawings for you to look at :D 

This is a sketch I was working on before I got lazy and stopped drawing for a bit. I was planning a Pleasantly Sour story in which I was going to introduce the Seven Heavenly Virtues. This is Wrath and her virtuous counterpart Patience. The scanner cut off parts of it : p 

The Kitten Pirates RETURN~!! I love drawing these two characters, but I just realized I don't think I ever named them... I'm thinking Lyra and Kyra. I think at some point I'm going to gather all the drawings I have of them and put them in a post, just so I can have everything together and see how they have developed overtime :3 Also, I plan on coloring this!

I like how this one came out. In my mind this is a humanoid Applejack riding what was going to be Big Macintosh but is probably going to end up being Braeburn, depends on whether I want to color the horse red or not >_>. ((BTW those are all characters from My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic <3 which is a really amusing show haha)) Or it can just be a kick butt cowgirl escaping from some baddies ;D. Whichever. Also to be colored soon.
An astronaut dude. That is all.

Sketch of a RP character I created. Her name is Miho Kuro Akuma, she's an alien princess from a race called the HoshiAkuma. She's fiesty.
<3 A cute wolf and a kitten sleeping. <3

This one is really, really cool in real life. :3 Space girl planet-hopping!

Drew this yesterday on the train to Boston. It looks even better than this scanned version xD

My friend Esther~! You should go look at her blog. Just click her name ;D

-cough- No thing to see here -cough-  Just a nauseatingly cutesy sappy drawing I made of me and my boyfriend Alex... Eeeyuup.  Go on now. Shoo!

Okay so that's just some sketches and drawings. You'll probably see a few of them again after I color them in. And when I get back to UMASS Amherst, I'm going to try and photograph some really big pieces I made for an art class I took. last semester. 

Break Down

I don't need anyone
to see me break down.
No one needs to watch as
my tears flow to the ground.

I want to live my life
without making a sound.
I have gone and lost myself
and I don’t want to be found.

My heart has been
hidden, tied and bound.
Now all there is left for me
is to let go and simply drown.


Drown in my own sorrow-filled tears.
Drown in the memories of my lost years.
Drown in my fears. Drown in my fears.

There isn’t enough
euphoria to go around.
Someone’s always cast aside,
lost in grief, but unable to frown.

I don't need anyone
to see me break down.
No one needs to watch as
my tears flow to the ground.

This is the result from one of those poem fragments I posted a while back :)
Sorry for my long hiatus by the way, I'm back though! And I'm have a lot of stuff piled up to post, including some drawings!! I haven't posted art in a long time.